I decided to visit my blog today. Not for any particular reason, but more because I need to write. I need to get this life of mine down on paper (so to speak). There is so much happening that I'm not sure I can wrap my mind, let alone my heart around it all.
A little more than two months ago I blogged about my dad having an accident. I have grown in my faith so much since that day. I have learned that while God does tell us no, and sometimes in ways that are too painful to grasp, He does not leave us, He does not stop loving us, and He does not stop providing for us.
Last week my family and I made the decision to stop all measures of treatment for my dad. I won't get in to details because of the personal nature of this decision, but it was by far the hardest decision I have ever had to make. I think that it will be the hardest decision that I will ever need to make. We have moved him to hospice where he has been treated like a King. This is the most amazing place I have ever encountered. The love and care that is shared in this building is felt the minute you step in the door. And, I firmly believe that like many other things, this place is just one of the many ways my Heavenly father is caring for my earthly one and our family.
Today I sit in the "quiet room" to write this. I'm numb and scared, unsure of how life will ever go on without the man in my life-my daddy. Words can not even begin to describe the numerous emotions that I experience all at once. Yet, I know that God knows my heart and that brings me the sweetest kind of comfort. I know that He is here with me, my family and most importantly my dad.
For those who question the existence of God, for those who are angry because of their own pain, for those in need of a love that breaks all boundaries and unceasingly overflows, look no further that God and His Son! I have never believed more than in this time in my life. They are true, present and at work.
