By no means do I believe that what I'm about to share is the worst thing that can happen to a person. I recognize that there are far worse situations for a person to be in and I know that some of you might even be in a far worse situations yourselves. But, I thought I would share what God is doing in my life. Maybe you'll have an idea as to what I'm supposed to be learning, or what He is preparing me for, because quite honestly-I'm a little stumped.
Two weeks ago I began to experience the most incredible pain in my lower, right abdominal quatdrant. I started to think it was my appendix so I went to the doctor. I figured better to be safe than sorry-especially because the pain was pretty intense. Nope, not my apendix. Maybe it's an ovarian cyst? Nope, not an ovarian cyst (lots of expensive tests to rule that out). After a week of tests, I started to run a fever. So, the next day I go to see a different doctor than mine. Mine was on vacation. She determines that I have an inguinal hernia. The only way to fix it-SURGERY. Yup, folks-you read that right. Surgery. Yup, it will be the second time "under the knife" in three months!
Now here is the cool part. The day before my hernia was diagnosed a few of my co-workers prayed that there would be healing for my pain. God did not choose to heal it directly, but He did orchestrate the events that allowed it to be diagnosed. You see, the fever was simply brought on by the stress of the events according to this doctor. Without the fever, I may not have had my mom call my nurse. My doctor had thought maybe it was a pulled muscle if it wasn't a cyst but she was on vacation and couldn't see me to make that her official diagnosis. The usual fill in for her did not want to see me, but just load me up with lots of vicodin. Thank god he wasn't available the day my mom called to talk to the nurse about my pain and fever.
Following so far? Hope so. I started to cry when the doctor told me I had to have surgery. You see, life is kind of hectic right now for me and, for as silly as it might sound, there is no time for surgery. I am supposed to complete my on-line class for nursing school in less than a week, a few days after that I'm supposed to leave for my brother's wedding, and two weeks (I'm supposed to train my replacement during this time) after that is supposed to be my last day of work which = no more insurace. Where in the world was I going to find time to have surgery before my insurace ran out? Well, it has all worked out, for the most part. I will have my surgery after my brother's wedding, hopefully be able to take an incomplete in my class because any time I had saved up for leave at work will be used for recovery time (two very painful weeks) after my surgery, and my last day at work has been moved up to the day of my surgery. Two week earlier than I had planned, but life happens right?
My mind has been numb and I've been feeling pretty exhausted. Just living my day to day life has worn me out. It appears that I need a vacation from being me. I wish that were possible. In the midst of the chaos God has allowed the pain to subside so that I can at least tolerate moving again. The details for other things are working out, although I'm having to accept less than 100% for a few things, and best yet, the others who are being burdened by all of this have been extremely supportive and understanding. God does answer prayers.
All of this got me thinking...what is God doing in my life? What is He wanting me to learn? What is He preparing me for?
I have learned this so far-When the going gets tough, the tough gets "going". Some might take that to mean that they give up, go away. I'm going to take it as the tough get moving through the troubles and struggles and make it through to the other side. I'm looking forward to being on the other side.
This week we have a group of youth working in our office building. They are from an organization called Project Serve. They come from all over the United States and Canada. Their purpose-to serve. Because we are a non-profit, Christian organization we are able to have them come and do some much needed building maintenance that we otherwise could not afford to have done. We are so blessed by them. Others will be blessed this week too. We get a different group of kids each day this week. That is because they are all taking turns working for us, the Salvation Army, Habitat for Humanity, Charitable Union, a widow from a congregation in town who is disabled and needs some work done around her home, etc...
Yesterday they were working outside of my office. I loved listening to them joke and tease. They were kind, but playful. Most of all, I loved that they were here to serve and help others by being God's hands. It reminded me of the days when I was a youth leader and I got to take teens on trips where we could allow God to use us to help, serve, and bless others. I remember how much I was able to grow and an individual on those trips, how much I learned, and how much I LOVED being with those kids. The kids we had got a lot out of it too. They grew as people and in their faith and that was an amazing thing to be a part of.
While that might be one of my favorite seasons in my life, I don't think about it much. Having these groups in our office has triggered it and it feels almost as if it were yesterday that I did those things. I hope that these kids have an amazing experience on the mountain top while they are on their mission trip this week. And, I pray that it has an impact for them that will forever spur them on in their faith. I know I have been that blessed.
